Sleep

 Sleep is such a blessing. Last night I couldn’t sleep well. We went through the stuff downstairs—Chris and I. It was emotionally very distressing and difficult. Such a range of emotions. I felt most sad going through Dad’s clothes. Things he wore not too long ago. I miss him. I miss the Dad I thought I had. I miss having him be a happy stable part of our lives. Now he is the most difficult and disturbing part. The most painful and confusing and just plain hard, bordering on impossible. He is right now the cause of stress and pain and tears. But he used to be there for us. I thought. I miss that Dad I thought I had. Life is a blesssing and I have so many good people and loved ones to help with the difficult days and hours and minutes. I love my husband and my boys most of all. Chris and my mom have been so kid. And helpful today too. Peter had a long night of rehearsal. I got done with work earlier than I have in a long time. So good to be able to leave with Will and James. Went shopping and picked up Ryan and made dinner. Had Chris over for singing practice and Mario kart. A nice evening although we missed Peter. It was good to have come follow me and FSY together. I love the scriptures. I love the Savior. I am thankful for His loving atonement. Sometime it will all be okay. And we can all be healed and forgiven and made glorious through Him.