April 14: Friday Sickday Beauty

 I woke up with a headache and took a sick day and slept and took a long bath and did dishes and laundry and cleaned up a bit and read and watched the Chosen and really enjoyed being home today. Then I picked up kiddos once Ryan got home from work and spent about two and a half hours in the car. Good to see the kids after their day at school without me. And they are well, thank goodness. And then picked up Chinese and we watched Wonder Woman. Which is a good movie in my opinion, but not great. It’s not cast away for sure. It’s been a good, but challenging week, in several ways for me. The conflict on Wednesday night was disconcerting and but yesterday was better. And today was even better. Lots of good feelings in the home today. And I felt like I had some good moments of connection with the boys—but not as much time as I’d like. Want to make that a priority tomorrow. Good to be with Ryan tonight. I had a difficult conversation with my mom today. And I’m not sure why it was so hard. Anna’s uncle does. Suicide. I hate suicide. I hate thinking about it even. But there it is. It happens. And it is very tragic. But I simply don’t know everything and I can’t control very much at all. I can’t be so filled with fear. I’ve been praying to be yikes with the a savior so that I can learn to have love be my motivation as much as possible. To switch to love when I find myself full of worry. To let love cast out the fear. And He knows my children better than I do. And I need to involve Ryan more too. Lots of thoughts that may or may not make sense. Grateful it’s the weekend for sure.