December 11: my heart is walking around outside of me and growing up so fast!

 That’s how it is. And that’s why sometimes I freak out. They’re growing up so fast—all of my boys! And I’m painfully aware that I am an imperfect mom and that I’ve messed up in lots of ways. Some of these ways I don’t even know about and probably won’t find out about for years. And yet here they are more men than boys—at least Peter and William. I am in church right now and they are blessing and passing the sacrament to me. They are reminding me that they need to read scriptures in the morning before anything else. They are trying to better understand the nature of God and Christ. They are asking about bringing cookies to seminary to share for a special Christmas lesson. They are insisting they are well enough to teach the lesson today. They are giving inspiring talks about Christ and His love and on centering their life more on Him. And I am in awe and so grateful amd feel like the lamest mom sometimes. But I think the truth is I’m okay because I keep trying. And Christ makes up the difference. And these boys are special and needed for Gods plan.