October 17: Fire-bending

 I loved having a campfire tonight to roast our brats and s’mores, but most of all I loved just looking at the fire and putting more wood in it. James and I made the fire, but William and I finished it up. And both of us burned papers on which we had written things we wanted to give up. I’m going to stop not believing I am beloved and good and if infinite worth as a daughter of God. So often I’m the thing that gets in my way of my happiest life. My most joyful, fulfilled and brightest self. I have a testimony of Christ. I have faith in His love and atonement. I repent daily. I keep trying. There for for now, at this point I’m doing pretty okay! I’m going to believe that I am amazing and capable and that I can indeed to all things through Christ which strengthens me. William and I did some reflecting and fire-bending and it felt so good to burn that paper. To give up all that insecurity and harshness with myself. 

And I think it’s time to find a new job. Had a good talk with Ryan about it. I am thankful for the things I’ve learned from my job. And the good people I’ve met. But I think it’s time for something different. The teachers will not be coming into the library with their classes. I am not interested in being a classroom teacher, especially without the teacher benefits and pay and such. It’s just been a great chance to learn and realize I can work and learn new things and contribute to our finances. And I am so thankful for all the great kids who love the library so much.