June 8: First Jobs, Other Jobs, Swimming, and Youth Nights

 Again today I kept thinking, this is such the summer day! Classic summer! Love it! Although it was hot, and James got a little too much sun even with two coats of sunscreen applied every two hours we had a lot of fun swimming with Grandma at the Moesinger’s pool with  the cousins. I thought it was a super sweet end of school party—she had snacks and we made sandwiches to take with us and everything. Felt good to be swimming. And William cracks me up. He is so fun to have around and can always make me laugh. 

Peter went to work at Brother Garrett’s shop today!! His first day at his first official non-mowing job. I felt a bit emotional about it—especially as I dropped him off.  I hope he’s not feeling like he needs to grow up faster than he already his. He has really wanted a job, and this seemed like a good opportunity to make some money and work for a wonderful person. Plus he really did seem to have a good experience. I feel right now like it is a huge blessing for him to have a good job like this. And I feel a little worried that he’s already growing up so fast and I only have three more summers with him before his mission. I need to not freak out, but appreciate the time I have with him. Keep loving that time and letting him know how much I love him. And having fun. And helping him and teaching him and listening to him. He’s been through a lot this last year. Lots of good and lots of hard. And he doesn’t always talk as much as his brothers do. I can’t help feeling sometimes like I’ve totally failed all my kids. Not a good feeling. But there it is. They are these wonderful and amazing spirits and I have no idea what I’m doing so often as a parent. 

I wonder if it’s really true that the best thing I can do for my kids is be happy and healthy and thriving myself? Maybe that way I’m emotionally there for my kids? Because I’ve figured out the other stuff? I need to do more with them one on one and read to them. We need to pick another book. Tomorrow.