June 12: stake conference and staking claims

 Had a couple of great moments of guidance and inspiration at stake conference today.  Mostly I just loved President Diamond’s talk about sanctification, and and I loved the talk that Elder Dehoyos read from Elder Holland about how this is the greatest of all dispensations! And how we should live more fully because this is the fullness of times! And we should be more bold and have more courage.  And he taught that Satan is the father of fear—so we don’t want to have fear! Perfect love casteth it out!! 

So I don’t need to be afraid to act with love and sincerity.  I don’t need to be afraid to say what I’m thinking.  And I definitely want to spend good time with my family while still helping them to learn as many good and important things that I can  I want them to have good friends—which they do.  And I want them to have good relationships with extended family—which they do.  But I also really enjoy spending time with them.  I definitely don’t want to throw that time away.

Molly and Devin are going to try out a throw away Thursday.  They’re going to drop of Sam at a park with some friends and leave them there until 4pm —10 am-4pm.  I have many concerns about William joining in on this.  But one of the biggest concerns is not wanting him to feel like he’s being thrown away.  And definitely don’t want to miss out on that time with him or any of my boys.  I’m already giving up Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings with Peter while he works.  And there are so many camps this summer.  I am coming to terms with the fact that my kids are growing up, and they are growing up well, and I am so proud of them! But I don’t think I need to do anything to rush that process! Especially if that includes putting my children in potential danger to try and force them to have adventures. I love that the kids can play together in the neighborhood and out on the lawns. I don’t feel good about dropping them off for the day at an Ogden park. I want to know where they are and want them to be able to get a hold of me. We don’t need to throw them in the deep end!! Sometimes Molly and Devin drive me a little bonkers with all their “brilliant” ideas. Sometimes I want to shake them and tell them they are missing out on their own kids.  And they need to stop trying to be the best. Comparison is the thief of joy. And I’m done. And I’m done with fear. And I’m done not saying what I think, in a kind and loving way. I need to get my own back and love my family’s be friends and God and  my loving Savior too.  I am a person.  And my opinions and thoughts are valid too.  And I’m so not perfect! And that’s as it should be right now.